Every joke I've kept

Knock knock. Who's there? Poop!

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What color is red? True or false?

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What's purple and commutes? An Abelian grape.

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How do you know if you have the swine flu? You wake up in pigtails and then break out in rashers!

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For immediate issue: Password Security Guidelines V2.2b Due to new security policies, the following guidelines have been issued to assist in choosing new passwords. Please follow them closely. Passwords must conform to at least 21 of the following attributes.

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When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....

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How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it.

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What did one earthquake say to another? Oops! My fault!

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BOB- It's Friday the 13th. Do you have any superstitions? GEORGE- I think it's unlucky to have superstitions.

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Silence is golden, because you never have to explain something you didn't say.

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Never ever take a sleeping pill and a laxative in the same night.

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A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

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What do you call a blind deer? No idea (no eye deer.) What do you call a blind deer with no legs? Still no idea! (not moving [still] no eye deer)

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A policeman pulls over a reckless driver along the road. Going up to the driver's window, he takes one look and notes, "Your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The driver looks up out of those bloodshot eyes and responds, "Your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating donuts?"

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Then there was the dyslexic robber who held up the bank with a gnu.

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What has wheels and flies? Answer: Garbage truck

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What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalapeño face.

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How many blondes does it take to wash a car? Two. One to hold the sponge, and one to drive the car back and fourth.

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This site is dead. There has been an all-time low in traffic. No one posts anymore. The end of the site is a tragic one, and I will miss the site. Wocka has fallen from its high branch. Submit your hate towards, but you know it's true.

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What did the router say to the doctor? It hurts when IP.

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