Both are attractive cost about $400 for 2 or 12 hours of fun. But right when you're satisfied you get addicted to them, And keep wasting money replacing em.
— public joke corpus
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allmisc 970one-liners 644classic 417general 345animal 309puns 270children 220light-bulbs 191knock-knock 91at-work 63medical 61programming 59sports 49bar 45tech 42college 28blonde-jokes 23men 19family-parents 18computers 15women 15heaven-and-hell 11crazy-jokes 9business 8deep-thoughts 8military 8holidays 7science 7one-liner 6police-jokes 6money 5school 4bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3ocean 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2math 2music 2office-jokes 2old-age 2state-jokes 1
Can you decipher this phrase? A R M S Open arms!
— public joke corpus
It's a little known fact that William Tell and his son were avid bowlers as well as archery buffs. Unfortunately, all the league records were destroyed in a fire, so it may never be known for whom the Tells bowled.
— public joke corpus
Would you hit a woman with a baby? No, I'd hit her with a brick.
— public joke corpus
Tom, the fisherman, wrote the following to a mail order catalogue, "Please send me one of those gasoline engines for my boat you show on page 438, and if it's any good, I'll send you a check." A few days later, Tom received the following reply, "Please send check. If it's any good, we'll send the engine."
— public joke corpus
Q: How many Lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three. One to screw it in and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
— public joke corpus
An RCMP officer pulled over a vehicle that had performed a rolling stop at a stop sign. When the driver was told this, he replied, "But it says STOP, not STAY!"
— public joke corpus
Can you decipher this phrase? EHCA Backache!
— public joke corpus
What do you call a Grizzly with no teeth? A gummy bear
— public joke corpus
The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.
— public joke corpus
Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.
— public joke corpus
Why does a dog have fur? 'Cause if he didn't he'd be a little "bare"!
— public joke corpus
A decrepit old gas man named Peter While hunting around for the meter His torch he did light He arose out of sight And, of course, as a result, he totally, completely and utterly destroyed the meter!
— public joke corpus
According to statistics, last year over 17 million American families paid a lot of money for things that looked funny and didn't work. Seven million of these were antiques; the rest were college students.
— public joke corpus
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Five. One to change the bulb and four more to chase off the Californians who have come up to relate to the experience. A: Nine. One to change the bulb, and eight to protest the nuclear power plant that generates the electricity that powers it.
— public joke corpus
"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world." -Dave Barry
— public joke corpus
Why do they have braille on drive-thru ATMs?
— public joke corpus
What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with a pig? Jurassic pork!
— public joke corpus
What starts with 'P' and ends in 'orn' : Popcorn
— public joke corpus
"They misunderestimate me." -Nov. 6, 2000 "Rarely is the question asked: Is out children learning?" -Jan. 11, 2000 "I aim to be a competitive nation." -April 21, 2006
— public joke corpus