If a kid asks where rain comes from, I tell him, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, I tell him, "Probably because of something you did."
— public joke corpus
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allmisc 970one-liners 644classic 417general 345animal 309puns 270children 220light-bulbs 191knock-knock 91at-work 63medical 61programming 59sports 49bar 45tech 42college 28blonde-jokes 23men 19family-parents 18computers 15women 15heaven-and-hell 11crazy-jokes 9business 8deep-thoughts 8military 8holidays 7science 7one-liner 6police-jokes 6money 5school 4bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3ocean 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2math 2music 2office-jokes 2old-age 2state-jokes 1
Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.
— public joke corpus
Does Anybody Really Know What Time it Is?
Little Brother: How long is a strong? Big Sister: Huh? Little Brother: Well, I've heard of a week...
— public joke corpus
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
— public joke corpus
How To Annoy People In An Elevator: Ask, "Did you hear that cable snapping sound?" Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you're on. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with yours eyes darting around the elevator.
— public joke corpus
What is a cat's favorite part of the computer? The mouse!
— public joke corpus
What disease frightens ghosts the most? BoOoOo-bonic Plague What's the difference between girl ghosts and boy ghosts? BoOoOo-bies
— public joke corpus
An elderly couple was having a conversation, and the wife asked her husband a simple question :- "Boxers or briefs?" Her husband replied :- "Depends."
— public joke corpus
Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral. -- Robert Orben
— public joke corpus
Some common phrases that bees should know: Are you are hipbee? How comb? Hive already finished.
— public joke corpus
Q: Why did the witch buy a computer? A: She needed the spellcheck
— public joke corpus
You know how we earn little icons next to our names for the points we get for being active on Wocka? They should do that on Facebook. Only backwards. The longer you are totally inactive, the higher level symbols you get.
— public joke corpus
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? A: Because the chicken had the day off!
— public joke corpus
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? time to get a new fence!
— public joke corpus
'Doctor,doctor.I think that I'm a bridge.' 'What on earth's come over you?' 'Well a car,a bike.....'
— public joke corpus
How many rich people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They hire people to do it for them.
— public joke corpus
"Doctor, please, I have a problem pronouncing Ts, Fs and Hs!" "Well then, you can't say fairer than that."
— public joke corpus
Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
— public joke corpus
A pair of birds were sitting on a branch of a tree when they see a turtle run past them, jump off the branch and flap his arms as hard as he can. He falls to the ground. The poor turtle repeats this process numerous times, and then one bird says to the other "dear, do you think we should tell him he's adopted?"
— public joke corpus
A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it then it is not that good.
— public joke corpus