Q: How many [IBM] Technical Writers does it take to change a light bulb? A: 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only, ''This page intentionally left blank,'' and 20% of the definitions are of the form ''A
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Q: How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: To get to the other side.
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A woman walked into a bar, and asked the barman for a double entendre, so he gave her one.
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What's better than going to school? Having play time every day!
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Why do mathematicians hate the U.S.? Because it's indivisible.
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What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt.
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What do you call a lion wearing a hat? A Dandy Lion.
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Announcer, at a diving competition: "Ladies and gentlemen, we have both good and bad news to announce. The good news is that the dive just performed was fantastic and the judges have managed to give it a full score of ten. The bad news is... there was no water in the pool."
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One day two blondes decided to take a trip to Disney Land. They were riding down the road and all of a sudden they came to a fork in the road and a sign said disneyland left. So they looked at eachother and said dangget and went back home.
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Q: What has four legs and an arm? A: A happy pitbull. Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?A: Lipstick!
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A man applied for a job as an industrial spy. Together with several other applicants, he was given a sealed envelope and told to take it to the fourth floor. As soon as the man was alone, he stepped into an empty hallway and opened the envelope. Inside, a message read: "You're our kind of person. Report to the fifth floor Personnel Office."
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What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
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A man goes to a fancy dress party, dressed from head to toe in green, carrying a woman on his back. The host asks, "What have you come as?" He replies, "I'm a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle!" The host says, "Why have you a woman on your back?" "Oh, that's Michelle," he replies. (My shell)
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How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go ride bikes!
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A blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge, who hit the ground first?The brunette, cos the blonde stopped to asked for directions!!!
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What did the clock say to the wristwatch? "I enjoyed tocking with you, but now you're starting to tick me off."
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Q. Did you hear about the lawyer from Texas who was so big when he died that they couldn't find a coffin big enough to hold the body?A. They gave him an enema and buried him in a shoebox.
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Q: Why do elephants paint their toes yellow? A: So they can hide upside down in the custard.
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Q: What did the little chick say when his mom laid an orange? A: Look at the orange-mama-lade!
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Two jackrabbits are running from a pack of coyotes they manage to hide under a cactus. One says to the other: "Should we run for it, or wait till we outnumber 'em?"
— public joke corpus