Every joke I've kept

I showed the damaged remains of my luggage to my lawyer and said, “I want to sue the airline.”. “You don’t have much of a case,” he replied.

— r/Jokes

I failed my final exam on Greek mythology. It's always been my Achilles elbow

— r/Jokes

An in-depth test to see if you know how to avoid Clickbait. Apparently not!

— r/Jokes

Give a man an egg and he’ll eat for a day. Breed a man that can lay an egg and suddenly you’re “taking science too far.”

— r/Jokes

What do you call a group of babies? an Infantry

— r/Jokes

What's a pirate's least favorite letter? Dear sir, we are writing to inform you that you have violated the copyright agreement..

— r/Jokes

I got voted “Least Likely To Succeed” by my high school class... I hate being a teacher...

— r/Jokes

Set your WiFi password to 2444666668888888. So when someone asks tell them it’s 12345678

— r/Jokes

Why does leather armour help the wearer be stealthy? Because it's made of hide.

— r/Jokes

I told my dad to embrace his mistakes. He gave me a hug

— r/Jokes

My missus was furious at me for kicking dropped ice-cubes under the refrigerator. But now it's just water under the fridge.

— r/Jokes

While I was shopping, I saw an ad in a window. It said, “Television for $1, volume stuck on full.”. There’s no way I can turn that down.

— r/Jokes

I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself... I really need to wash some mugs.

— r/Jokes

Not bragging, but I made six figures last year, so they named me the year's worst employee at the toy factory.

— r/Jokes

i call myself terms and conditions. because y'all keep ignoring me

— r/Jokes

Conspiracy theories are a lot like moon landings. They're all fake

— r/Jokes

A photon walks into a hotel and orders a room. The bellhop asks, “Can I carry your baggage to your room for you?”. The photon says, "No, I'm traveling light."

— r/Jokes

So far, Humpty Dumpty is having a terrible winter. Which sucks because he had a great fall

— r/Jokes

What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut? I'm a cashew

— r/Jokes

According to my therapist, I have extreme trouble verbalizing my emotions. Can’t say I’m surprised.

— r/Jokes