Every joke I've kept

Where is happiness made? At the satisfactory.

— r/Jokes

Two introverts walk into a room... One leaves

— r/Jokes

If someone calls you a nobody, just remember. Nobody's perfect.

— r/Jokes

The Sun doesn't need to go to college. Because it already has 28 million degrees.

— r/Jokes

I've calculated the name for the next Fast Furious movie... Fast 10: Your Seatbelts

— r/Jokes

Yesterday I robbed the oversized board game store. It was a huge Risk that I was willing to take

— r/Jokes

I don't think I'm strong enough anymore for my job as a personal trainer. So I guess I'll hand in my too weak notice

— r/Jokes

A guy in a plane stood up shouted “HIJACK!”. All passengers got scared . . . Then from the other end of the plane a guy shouted back, . . . “Hi JOHN”

— r/Jokes

Not to brag, but I have sychic powers. For example, right now you’re thinking, “It’s psychic, idiot!”

— r/Jokes

I put root beer into a square cup. All I have now is beer.

— r/Jokes

4 Norse god, 1 Roman god, and 2 astronomical bodies walk into a bar. The bartender says " Oh, this is a gonna be a week joke"

— r/Jokes

Seminar "How to avoid frauds" is canceled. Tickets are non-refundable.

— r/Jokes

Many people are shocked when they find out.. That I’m a horrible electrician.

— r/Jokes

Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. When nobody laughed he would follow with, "Ah well. I guess you had to be there."

— r/Jokes

I tried to look up lighters in Amazon. All they had was 13,749 matches.

— r/Jokes

Interviewer: "We're looking for someone who is responsible." Me: "A lot of things went wrong at my last job and everyone said I was responsible. "

— r/Jokes

“Can you please change my grade?”. “Of course,” Tom remarked.

— r/Jokes

I recently discovered I can move my sister's daughters through the air with my brain but not her sons. I think I have telekinieces.

— r/Jokes

My professor accused me of plagiarism. His words, not mine.

— r/Jokes

I have the memory of an elephant. I remember one time I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.

— r/Jokes