Did you hear about that guy who fell into the infinity pool? Yeah... it took him forever to get out.
— onelinefun.com
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allone-liners 4222misc 1013animal 458classic 417general 345puns 264children 219at-work 211light-bulbs 191sports 153food 126programming 121money 100knock-knock 91medical 76science 55math 48bar 41music 41tech 40college 26family-parents 18men 18blonde-jokes 15computers 10crazy-jokes 9heaven-and-hell 9business 7deep-thoughts 7military 6one-liner 6women 6holidays 5police-jokes 5bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2ocean 2office-jokes 2old-age 2school 2state-jokes 1
My superpower is making people laugh. Which would be great if I was trying to be funny.
— onelinefun.com
The road to success is always under construction.
— onelinefun.com
When someone asks me if I'm seeing anyone, I automatically assume they're talking about a psychiatrist.
— onelinefun.com
Patient: "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: "Next time, take off the candles."
— onelinefun.com
You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.
— onelinefun.com
For every action, there is a corresponding over-reaction.
— onelinefun.com
Once upon a time there was a King who was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible King but he made a great ruler...
— onelinefun.com
It's always a good idea to make friends with babies. That's free cake once a year for a lifetime.
— onelinefun.com
Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
— onelinefun.com
How come "you're a peach" is a complement but "you're bananas" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?
— onelinefun.com
What's a nice ghoul like you doing in a crypt like this?
— onelinefun.com
A garage sale is actually a Garbage sale but the "b" is silent.
— onelinefun.com
Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.
— onelinefun.com
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
— onelinefun.com
Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?
— onelinefun.com
I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now, I think I'll start calling them traditions.
— onelinefun.com
Last Father's Day my son gave me something I always wanted: the keys to my car.
— onelinefun.com
You're not old until a teenager describes you as middle-aged.
— onelinefun.com
Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can't see.
— onelinefun.com