What did the Java code say to the C code? You've got no class.
— public joke corpus
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allmisc 970one-liners 644classic 417general 345animal 309puns 270children 220light-bulbs 191knock-knock 91at-work 63medical 61programming 59sports 49bar 45tech 42college 28blonde-jokes 23men 19family-parents 18computers 15women 15heaven-and-hell 11crazy-jokes 9business 8deep-thoughts 8military 8holidays 7science 7one-liner 6police-jokes 6money 5school 4bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3ocean 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2math 2music 2office-jokes 2old-age 2state-jokes 1
What sits on a window sill, hums, and dies mysteriously 91 days after you bring it home? - An air conditioner with a 90 day warranty.
— public joke corpus
Whats the difference between a womans paycheck and her periods?Well...:They come once a month,They get her stressed,And if one don't come...SHES IN TROUBLE.
— public joke corpus
Be a good housekeeper. When you leave him ... get a good lawyer ...keep his house
— public joke corpus
They say one way to build character is to do things you don't want to do. Every day I do two things I don't want to do: I get out of bed in the morning and go to bed at night!
— public joke corpus
Lena called the airlines information desk and inquired, "How long does it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo?" "Just a minute," said the busy clerk. "Vell, said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I'll just take da bus."
— public joke corpus
Guy1: Thats a bunch of cows. Farmer: No, a herd. Guy1: Of course I've heard of cows. Farmer:.No, I mean the cow herd Guy1: I have no secrets from cows
— public joke corpus
Q: What is a cheerleader's favorite drink? A: Root Beer!
— public joke corpus
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
— public joke corpus
Knock knock Who's there ? Scold Scold who ? Scold out here, let me in!
— public joke corpus
Confucius asks: "If a train station is where the train stops, and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station?"
— public joke corpus
Did you see that movie about the pirate? It's rated Arrr!
— public joke corpus
I joined a health club last year, spent about $400, and haven't lost a pound. Apparently, you have to show up.
— public joke corpus
What's the difference between two yards? A. Usually a fence.
— public joke corpus
How many presidents does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll only promise change.
— public joke corpus
What do elephants have that nothing else has? Baby elephants!
— public joke corpus
Q: What did Jane say to Tarzan when she saw the elephants coming? A: Here come the plums; she was color blind.
— public joke corpus
A blonde and a brunette were walking down the basement stairs in the dark to find a wrench when the blonde screamed. "Something brushed against my rightr leg!!" "Oh My Gosh. Are you sure?" "Yea and it keeps doing it." she said as she ran around the basement. Then she stopped and thought for a second. "Hold up. That was just my left leg.
— public joke corpus
A father watched his young son practice baseball in the backyard by throwing the ball up and swinging at it. Time and time again the bat missed contact. The boy noticed his father watching, and said, "Wow, Dad! Aren't I a great pitcher?"
— public joke corpus
You know you're ghetto when you carry food stamps in a money clip!
— public joke corpus