Every joke I've kept

China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you're a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

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Knowledge cannot enter the head via an open mouth.

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Then there was the neat nurse, who made the patient without disturbing the bed.

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Faunacated (adj.) How wildlife ends up when its environment is destroyed. Hence Faunacatering (v.), which has made a meal of many species. Grantartica (n.) The cold, isolated place where art companies dwell without funding. Hemaglobe (n.) The bloody state of the world. Kinstirpation (n.) A painful inability to move relatives who come to visit.

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There once was a man from Hybernia, Who Rhymed himself into a hernia. He became adept At this practice except For occasional anti-climaxes.

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There was a really clever blonde, Tinkerbell, Santa Claus and a really clever brunette all in a competition to win a million Pounds. The question is "Which one won it?"The really clever brunette cos none of the others exist.

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How many Dyslexics does it take to change a Lit Blub?

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How to Ruin a Joke on Wocka

Register lots of accounts, with each account voting for it as least comedy. If its average comedy drops below 0.5, it will be automatically deleted.

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Q: How many WASP Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two. One to get a Tab and one to call Daddy.

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Q: Why isn't there a pro football team in Flint, Michigan? A: Because then Detroit would want one too!

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Q: What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? A: Halfway.

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A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?""You'll know tonight." he said.That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.Delighted, she opened it-only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams".

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When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.

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Why couldn't the Human Torch get married? He couldn't find his Match!

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What is the definition of ultimate frustration? Two blind lesbians trying to find each other in a fish market.

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"I'm really too tired and unable to do my home work," the son protested to his father. "Now my son, hard work has never killed any one yet, at least not at your age." "Yes, but I don't want to run the risk of being the first!"

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Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold!

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What does the male centipede say to the other male centipede when a female centipede walks by? That's a nice pair of legs, pair of legs, pair of legs, pair of legs.....

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Guest: "A cup of coffee, please!" Waiter: "Turkish or filtered?" Guest: "Why, filtered, of course." Waiter: "Then you'll have to bring your own filter paper for now."

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two (think about it)

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