What do you call something that looks like pasta, and tastes like pasta, but isn't pasta? An impasta.
— upjoke.com
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allone-liners 4222misc 1013animal 458classic 417general 345puns 264children 219at-work 211light-bulbs 191sports 153food 126programming 121money 100knock-knock 91medical 76science 55math 48bar 41music 41tech 40college 26family-parents 18men 18blonde-jokes 15computers 10crazy-jokes 9heaven-and-hell 9business 7deep-thoughts 7military 6one-liner 6women 6holidays 5police-jokes 5bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2ocean 2office-jokes 2old-age 2school 2state-jokes 1
What do you call a heavy metal band With financial problems? Megadebt
— upjoke.com
A man walked into a copy shop, and requested that they print a book for him with pages 30 feet long and 1 foot wide. Printer: "Why do you need pages that long?" Man: "Well, it's a long story."
— upjoke.com
My friend refuses to believe that working with decimals is easier than working with fractions. He is missing the point.
— upjoke.com
Why is the Hockey Hall Of Fame situated in Toronto? So that Leafs fans can remember what a Stanley cup looks like.
— upjoke.com
If you ever drop a volcano rock on your foot You'll Krakatoa
— upjoke.com
Why aren't there any ducks in Portugal? They're all Portugeese
— upjoke.com
What did the melon say when his lawn looked dry. Guess it's time to watermalawn.
— upjoke.com
I don’t trust my shadow. He’s a shady guy
— upjoke.com
Why is it hard to make friends in Antarctica? Because you can't break the ice.
— upjoke.com
Did you know they don't have dad jokes in Egypt? They are called mummy jokes.
— upjoke.com
Easiest way to win a debate is to have a sharp sword at the ready. Everybody will agree you have a good point
— upjoke.com
What do you call a vehicle with no fuel in Africa? Outtagascar
— upjoke.com
Warning: Australian joke! What's left after your local Woolworths burned down? Coals
— upjoke.com
Why don't salmon watch cable television? They prefer streams.
— upjoke.com
Why do tigers always beat cheetahs at hide-and-seek? They've never been spotted.
— upjoke.com
What do you call pasta with a cold? Macaroni and sneeze Was told to me by my 3 year old
— upjoke.com
Working on the computer is like driving a submarine. Once you open windows, the problems begin.
— upjoke.com
What do you call someone who steals a glacier? An iceberglar
— upjoke.com
Why was the cheetah so bad at hide and seek ? No matter where she hid, she was always spotted.
— upjoke.com