All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose? Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.
— upjoke.com
Every joke I've kept
Surf instead →allone-liners 4222misc 1013animal 458classic 417general 345puns 264children 219at-work 211light-bulbs 191sports 153food 126programming 121money 100knock-knock 91medical 76science 55math 48bar 41music 41tech 40college 26family-parents 18men 18blonde-jokes 15computers 10crazy-jokes 9heaven-and-hell 9business 7deep-thoughts 7military 6one-liner 6women 6holidays 5police-jokes 5bar-jokes 3food-jokes 3idiots 3blind-jokes 2dad 2ethnic-jokes 2farmers 2ocean 2office-jokes 2old-age 2school 2state-jokes 1
What kind kind of triangle is a tortilla chip? An i-salsa-les triangle
— upjoke.com
What do you call a race over lava? A heated competition
— upjoke.com
I used to be an adventurer until I went to Antarctica. Thats when things went south
— upjoke.com
I know several jokes in sign language. I guarantee nobody has ever heard them.
— upjoke.com
Two windmills stood on a hill with a radio. One turned to his friend and asked, “What’s your favourite music?” The other windmill said, “I’m a big metal fan.”
— upjoke.com
What’s the difference between a beautiful night and a horror night? Beautiful night is when you hug your teddy bear and sleep. Horror night is... when your teddy bear hugs you BACK.
— upjoke.com
What do the Backstreet Boys and Algebra teachers have in common? They both want you to tell them Y.
— upjoke.com
My professor told me that I’m failing my ethics class. So I slid 20 dollars across the table and said _what about now...?_
— upjoke.com
What do you call a monkey holding a fire cracker? A Baboom!
— upjoke.com
My son was getting super stressed learning about decimals. I guess you could say it was getting pretty tenths.
— upjoke.com
Can radio be an addiction? Depends on the frequency.
— upjoke.com
Canada could have had it all: American industry, British Culture, and French Cuisine. Instead, they got: French Industry, American culture, and British cuisine
— upjoke.com
What's the Longest Word in English? Smiles Cuz both the first and the last letters are a mile apart
— upjoke.com
What does a hockey game and an airboat have in common? Loud fans
— upjoke.com
Have you heard about the street performer who did his act in the middle of a hurricane? It was mime-blowing
— upjoke.com
From the 7 year old nephew: Why didn't the volcano eat dinner? Because its plates were broken.
— upjoke.com
What do you call it when Oxygen and Nitrogen train at the gym together? Air conditioning
— upjoke.com
Can a salmon be contained? No, but a tuna can.
— upjoke.com
What do you call a writer who doesn't follow the rules of sentence structure? A rebel without a clause
— upjoke.com