Every joke I've kept

I always order my burgers from Sonic. He always gets them to me the fastest

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The swordfish has no natural predators to fear from .except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.

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I don't always listen to heavy metal, but when I do so do the neighbors.

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What did the archaeologist find? He won't tell me but he said it's groundbreaking

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What did the evil fraction say? You will never stop my plans for world denomination.

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What did the explorer say when he spotted Antarctica? I see land.

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I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting between two identical twins. It was impossible to differentiate between them.

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What do you get when you mix a cheetah and a rhino? A Cheeto

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What do you call a man who is in debt? Owen

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What's a tiger running a copying machine called? A copycat

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Why is it so easy to get a job as a percussion instructor? You just have to answer a few cymbal questions.

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He call himself Iron man but his armours are actually made out of Titanium. Ironic

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Hey girl, are you my Physics examination paper? Because I can stare at you for 3 hours and not understand a single thing

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Roses are red, Cellos are brown. Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down ;)

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Someone told me they didn't like calculus. I told them their opinion would change over time.

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What does Earth get on Earth day ? A birthday quake !

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Where can you still get gas for $1.39? Taco Bell

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What do you call a hockey player who questions their bad life choices? Wayne Regretsky

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I watched hockey before it was cool. They basically were swimming.

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Why didn't the green pepper practice archery? Because it didn't habanero.

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