Tagged “at-work”

I got lost in your eyes. But I also get lost in most department stores, so I wouldn't read too much into it.

— onelinefun.com

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

— onelinefun.com

Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.

— onelinefun.com

There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin.

— onelinefun.com

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

— onelinefun.com

My job is secure. No one else wants it.

— onelinefun.com

My boss says I intimidate the other employees, so I just stared at him until he apologized.

— onelinefun.com

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.

— onelinefun.com

The reward for a job well done is more work.

— onelinefun.com

I'm not sure if I lost my camo pants or if they're just doing a really good job.

— onelinefun.com

Don't be irreplaceable - if you cannot be replaced, you cannot be promoted.

— onelinefun.com

A dog has an owner. A cat has a staff.

— onelinefun.com

I forgot my coffee this morning so I'm gonna drive on the rumble strips along the side of the road all the way to work just to be safe.

— onelinefun.com

What do you call a boat full of polite football players? A good sportsman ship.

— onelinefun.com

Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.

— onelinefun.com

I knew a guy who was going to open a pastry shop. But he couldn't raise the dough.

— onelinefun.com

I applied for a job hanging mirrors. It's something I can see myself doing.

— onelinefun.com

Dear alma mater, please don't send wealth management workshop invites to those of us who majored in creative writing.

— onelinefun.com

Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.

— onelinefun.com

I always tell new hires, don't think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you.

— onelinefun.com