An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" "Ach," says the Irish man, "it's drivin' me nuts!"
— public joke corpus
There's this dyslexic guy... he walked into a bra...
— public joke corpus
"Three people of different nationalities walk into a bar. Two of them say something smart, and the third one makes a mockery of his fellow countrymen by acting dumb."
— public joke corpus
A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't serve food here".
— public joke corpus
An Englishman, a Scotsman and a rabbi walk into a bar. The rabbi stops and says "I think I'm in the wrong joke."
— public joke corpus
So, this guy walks into a bar. And says, "ouch".
— public joke corpus
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first goes up to the bartender and says, "I'll have a pint of lager, please." The next one says, "and I'll have half of what he's having." The bartender says, "You're all idiots," and pulls two pints.
— public joke corpus
Look here, waiter! How long must I wait for that half-duck I ordered? Until somebody orders the other half. We can't go out and kill half a duck.
— public joke corpus
Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.
— public joke corpus
So, Michael Jackson walks into a bar. Oh, that looked like it hurt! It must have knocked his nose off!
— public joke corpus
The secret to enjoying a good wine is: 1 - Open the bottle to allow it to breathe. 2 - When it does not breathe, give it mouth-to-mouth
— public joke corpus
A man walks into a bar. He falls down, unconscious. Why is this? Because the man walked into a solid bar. A solid, metal bar!
— public joke corpus
The Englishman and the Scotsman both walk into a bar. The Irishman ducks under it.
— public joke corpus
Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, a tub of cottage chesse, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here." One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."
— public joke corpus
A preacher goes into a bar and says "Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up." Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner. The preacher says "My son, don't you want to go to heaven when you die?" The drunk says "When I die? Sure. I thought you were taking a load up now."
— public joke corpus
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. "Sorry I can't serve you," states the barman. "Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice. "You're under 21," replies the barman.
— public joke corpus
The skeleton walked into the bar and asked, "Can I have a beer and a mop?"
— public joke corpus
Two ducks walk into a bar... One duck looks at the other and says "Guess you didn't see it either."
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Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. Well, bring me the winner then.
— public joke corpus
A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before problems start!" Again, the man orders a beer again saying, "Give me a beer before problems start!" The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Ah, now the problems start!"
— public joke corpus