Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base? Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

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What did Michael Jackson name his denim store? Billy Jeans!

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What do birds give out on Halloween? Tweets.

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Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools!

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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Why do choirs keep buckets handy? So they can carry their tune

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Want to hear a joke about construction? Nah, I'm still working on it.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

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What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.

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What is a tornado's favorite game to play? Twister!

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How do you steal a coat? You jacket.

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Do I enjoy making courthouse puns? Guilty

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it.

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Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.

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Why do valley girls hang out in odd numbered groups? Because they can't even.

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What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend? She wasn't right for me, so I really don't carrot all.

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What did the spaghetti say to the other spaghetti? Pasta la vista, baby!

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Did you hear the joke about the wandering nun? She was a roman catholic.

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Why did the barber win the race? He took a short cut.

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What did the Red light say to the Green light? Don't look at me I'm changing!

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