Tagged “light-bulbs”

How many FBI agents does it take to change a lightbulb? Shut up! We'll be asking the questions here.

— public joke corpus

Q: How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb? A: Many hands make light work.

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Q: How many believable, competent, "just right for the job" presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?

— public joke corpus

Q: How many aerobics instructors does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Five. Four to do it in perfect synchrony and one to stand there going "To the left, and to the left, and to the left, and to the left, and take it out, and put it down, and pick it up, and put it in, and to the right, and to the right, and to the right, and to the right..."

— public joke corpus

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 8 men, One to get off the couch, One to find a lightbulb, One to find a ladder, One to screw it in, One to shock himself and shock everyone around, One to call a docter, One to find out that it wasn't out, the switch was off, and finally, one to sit back in laugh!

— public joke corpus

How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task? A finite number: one to perform the task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question.

— public joke corpus

Q: Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb? A: No, big daddy, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it. A: Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen in on the guest list.

— public joke corpus

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One I hope.

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How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 50... 1 to hold the lightbulb, and 49 to drink 'till the room spins!

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Q: How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs. Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.

— public joke corpus

Q: How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: What kind of answer did you have in mind?

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Q: How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .

— public joke corpus

Q: How many Lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three. One to screw it in and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.

— public joke corpus

Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Five. One to change the bulb and four more to chase off the Californians who have come up to relate to the experience. A: Nine. One to change the bulb, and eight to protest the nuclear power plant that generates the electricity that powers it.

— public joke corpus

Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

— public joke corpus

How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lighbulb? None, they just assume they've gone blind.

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Q. How many Iranians does it take to change a light bulb? A. You send us the prize money and we'll tell you the answer.

— public joke corpus

Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. (''That's all right...I'll just sit here in the dark...'')

— public joke corpus

How many George Walter Bushes does it take to change a lightbulb? Luckily, only 2. The world can't handle many more idiots.

— public joke corpus