You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there's no real difference between me and George Clooney.
— onelinefun.com
You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there's no real difference between me and George Clooney.
— onelinefun.com
Did you hear there is a coin shortage in America? We're running out of common cents.
— onelinefun.com
I'm currently boycotting any company that sells items I can't afford.
— onelinefun.com
Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.
— onelinefun.com
I bought a book titled "How To Scam People Online" about three months ago... It still hasn't arrived.
— onelinefun.com
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
— onelinefun.com
Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
— onelinefun.com
A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything was last year.
— onelinefun.com
Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
— onelinefun.com
I've decided to sell my Hoover... well, it was just collecting dust.
— onelinefun.com
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
— onelinefun.com
My first child has gone off to college and I feel a great emptiness in my life. Specifically, in my checking account.
— onelinefun.com
My daughter wants to be really scary this Halloween so instead of a costume, she is going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door.
— onelinefun.com
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
— onelinefun.com
Who earns a living driving their customers away? A taxi driver!
— onelinefun.com
Teacher: "Which book has helped you the most in your life?" Student: "My father's check book!"
— onelinefun.com
I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice.
— onelinefun.com
Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I'd still feel a lot more comfortable crying in a new BMW than on a bike.
— onelinefun.com
iPhone8 (X) has facial recognition. It looked at my face and told me that I can't afford it...
— onelinefun.com
I'm anti-work but pro-paycheck so you see my dilemma.
— onelinefun.com