Tagged “sports”

ok, If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the Jags, and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers known as Bucs, what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

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I was eating a fruit rollup once, you know, with the paper on the bottom...well the instructions were "Do not eat paper." Noooo! I thought the paper was part of the snack!!

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All you see in the sports media nowadays is the fact that athletes are taking steriods and other performance enhanceing drugs to become stronger and faster. So instead of going out and buying a new car I put some steriods in the gas tank.... I wonder if I will get the same result?

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Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball. "I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends. "I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition." "Batted .007," his wife added.

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A fisherman returned to shore with a giant marlin that was bigger and heavier than he. On the way to the cleaning shed, he met a second fisherman who had a stringer with a dozen baby minnows. The second fisherman looked at the marlin, turned to the first fisherman and said, "Only caught one, eh?"

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What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes whack, dang. A bad skydiver goes dang, whack.

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Golfer: Notice any improvement since last year?Caddy: Polished your clubs, didn't you?Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf.Caddy: Oh, he's played with you, too, huh?Golfer: "Caddy, why didn't you see where that ball went?"Caddy: "Well, it doesn't usually go anywhere, Mrs. Smith. You caught me off-guard."

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Lisa was playing bowling with her friend Marie. Lisa got a strike, then one more strike. Then, she got another strike. She had just gotten 3 strikes in a row! "I just got 3 strikes in a row!" said Lisa. Marie said, "You're out, you just got 3 strikes in a row!"

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If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow -- even during a hurricane! -- here is a valuable tip: Your life is in trouble.

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How many football players does it take to change a lightbulb? The whole team - and they each get a semester scholarship for it.

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I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

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Why is a football pitch so cold? Because of all the fans

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Soccer Coach: Why didn't you stop the ball? New Goalie: I thought that was what the net was for!

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He was a smooth operator, and at the club's annual dance he attached himself to the prettiest lady golfer in the room and was boasting to her. "You know, they're all afraid to play me. What do you think my handicap is?" "Well, where do you want me to start ?" came the quick response.

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Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked. "Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee." "Oh, that's awful!" "You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry..."

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2 Things I Find Ironic in Sports

1. The Yankees General Manager's name is Brian Cashman. 2. Barry Bonds' initals are BB, the abreviation for a walk is also BB.

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What is a 4 letter sport that starts with a T? Golf. (Golf starts with a tee!)

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The bartender at our golf club named a drink Lilac Crazy in honour of one of the members. Every time the member came to the 19th hole, that's exactly what he did.

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"He's great on the court," a sportswriter spoke of a college basketball player in a interview with his coach. "But how's his academics?" "Why, he makes straight A's," replied the coach. "Wonderful!" said the sportswriter. "Yes," agreed the coach, "but his B's are a just little crooked."

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The following event actually happened to a famous basketball coach. "When I first got a job as La Salle University's basketball coach, the phone rang and my wife told me it was Sports Illustrated. I cut myself shaving and fell down the steps in my rush to get the phone. When I got there, a voice on the other end said, 'For just 75 cents an issue...'"

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