Tagged “tech”

Both are attractive cost about $400 for 2 or 12 hours of fun. But right when you're satisfied you get addicted to them, And keep wasting money replacing em.

— public joke corpus

I'm only here in spirit at the moment, but if you'll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I'm here in person.

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Boy: Will you marry me? Girl: Are you kidding? You're a geek while I need a man with a big bank account and a nice house! Boy: I have 1000 GBs in the cloud. Girl: Come on, that won't even buy us a cabin in Texas! Boy: You don't know sh*t, my EC2 account can buy a farm in New York if you wish!

— public joke corpus

I used facebook for a few days and got addicted to it. I've been studying since I was 6. Why the hell am I not addicted to it?

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Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner's newly installed fire prevention alarm system. "This is even worse than last year," said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my new security system..."

— public joke corpus

Darn those pushy metric system advocates! Give them 2.54 cm., and they'll take 1.6093 km!

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I think my smartphone is broken. I keep pressing the Home button, but I'm still working.

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From Harper's Magazine: Amount of pizza eaten each day in U.S. (acres): 75.

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Why do mathematicians like national parks? Because of the natural logs.

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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

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The best way to accelerate Windows is through one.

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Teacher: Johnny, where is your homework? Johnny: Its on Facebook. I've uploaded a copy and tagged you. Please login and verify it later.

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A Windows customer said when he closes his windows, they disappear.

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How many diagonals does an N-polygon have? N(N-3)/2.

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What's purple and commutes? An Abelian grape.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a computer? A. A lot of Bytes!!!

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How to Ruin a Joke on Wocka

Register lots of accounts, with each account voting for it as least comedy. If its average comedy drops below 0.5, it will be automatically deleted.

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And so at last the beast fell and the unbelievers rejoiced. But all was not lost, for from the ash rose a great bird. The bird gazed down upon the unbelievers and cast fire and thunder upon them. For the beast had been reborn with its strength renewed, and the followers of Mammon cowered in horror.

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How do you know that you're a computer geek? You catch a computer virus and take a virus scanning pill every week.

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A special kind of firework with very bright colors and little smoke was accidentally discovered when a man tried to make the atomic bomb safer. That defeats the original purpose.

— public joke corpus