A computer teacher who doesn't speak good english tells his student "Paul open the window let the Air Force Come." At another time the same teacher and his wife sees one of his students in mall. The next day the teacher says to the student "Tim, yesterday I saw you with my wife at the mall."
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One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.
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The only person in our town who can afford to go on a jaguar is a zoo-keeper.
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What do you call two barracuda fish? A Pairacuda!
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To find the inverse of a function, you reverse the process. To find the inverse of putting on your socks and shoes, how do you start? Socks first!
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Q: How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb? A: Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How does a dyslexic poet write? Inverse.
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What do you call a short psychic on the lam? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A small medium at large!
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You never know someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. But if you walked a mile in their shoes wouldn't their feet get cold?
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Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Man: "How's your history paper coming?" Woman: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research, and it's been very helpful." Man: "Really?" Woman: "Yes! I've already located 17 people who sell them!"
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A fact of life: After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F
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One to his friend: "My little brother started walking last week!" The other friend: "Where did he go? He should be kilometers away!"
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In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.
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Q: What do you call a white guy surounded by indians?A: A bartender.
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Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? A: They all have phones.
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Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
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Boy: Is your dad a baker? Girl: No. Why? Boy: Cause you're a cutie pie!!
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A man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, doctor, you've got to help me! My elbow keeps coming untied. . . my belly button is out of order. . . I can't open my chest. . . I'm losing the leaves in my palm. . . somebody threw my waist in the trash. . . and my foot is only eleven inches!"
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What is a vampire's favorite holiday? Fangs-giving!
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